


"we could leave here, you and me"

by lesbian69



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Alternate Ending, Episode Related, Episode: e154 Bloody Mary (The Magnus Archives), First Kiss, Getting Together, Love Confessions, M/M, Spoilers for Episode: e154 Bloody Mary (The Magnus Archives), The Magnus Archives Season 4
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-16
Updated: 2020-06-16
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:01:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,065
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24757432
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lesbian69/pseuds/lesbian69
Summary: alternate ending to mag 154 (bloody mary), if martin had said yes to leaving the institute with jon. also they kiss.
Relationships: Martin Blackwood & Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist
Comments: 2
Kudos: 30





	"we could leave here, you and me"

**Author's Note:**

> hi im gay and i wrote this bc i was like. huh what if martin used that Moment at the end of mag 154 to accidentally confess. anyway yeehaw

Martin’s stomach is in knots. He hates seeing Jon like this, but he hasn’t really been in any other state for a long time. He’s always pleading, struggling, arguing with himself. Drowning in guilt and doubt. And Martin has to resist getting involved even though he’d like nothing more.

“Just—look, I need to see this thing through with Peter to the end. If what he’s saying is even half true, I need to be there.” Martin says. He believes what he’s saying, but he wishes it weren’t true. Why did saving the world somehow fall to him?

“But what if you don’t?” Jon says desperately. “We could just leave. I mean, whatever their plan is for me, I am damn sure that doing that isn’t it. I’d derail everything—we could derail everything! And then just—leave!”

Martin feels bitterness rise higher inside him. He laughs dryly. He doesn’t like it, but it’s all he can to do keep from crying. He’s desperate and angry and so fucking lonely. He hasn’t talked to Jon for this long in weeks, and this has to be the context in which they finally speak? Jon hasn’t been a good friend and Martin knows this, but he doesn’t care and never did. He knows he should hate Jon but he can’t. 

“What?” he sounds hurt. It’s heartbreaking.

“Nothing, it’s just… it’s just ironic, that’s all.” Martin sighs.

“Martin…”

His composure collapses and he can’t help but begin to cry at Jon’s pained, tender voice saying his name like that. 

“Jon, I…” he breaks. “Of course I want to leave! I’ve wanted to leave this place with you forever! I knew this was bad for you before you knew it yourself. You aren’t the only one doing the watching, you know? I watched you destroy yourself for months and I couldn’t do anything!”

“I—I’m sorry Martin…” Jon sputters, tentatively reaching a bony hand to Martin’s shoulder. The latter grabs Jon’s hand before he can reach him, the skin cold and dry.

“I mean, look at you! Y—you’re dying!” He’s crying now, his face wet with tears. He would be embarrassed for crying in front of him if he weren’t so angry. He looks down and cradles Jon’s cracked hand in his own, rubbing the back of it with his thumbs. “I—I hate this. I hate seeing you like this. I miss you.” He hesitates, “So much.” 

Jon looks shocked, concerned. Martin starts a bit at his own words, his face flushed and wet and tense. 

“I miss you too.” Jon says softly, pressing his forehead onto his friend’s. “I’m sorry.”

Martin’s heart skips a beat. He’s never touched Jon like this before. They’ve touched shoulders and brushed fingertips when he’d bring him tea, but nothing like this, nothing intentional. He tries not to think about it.

“It’s okay.” He says weakly.

“Martin, we both know it’s not.” Jon pulls his head away to look at him. “I’ve been a terrible friend to everyone, but especially to you. And you deserved it the least. I’m… I’m so sorry.” 

Martin’s eyes well up with tears again and he looks away, but Jon extends a hand and cups his face, guiding his gaze to him. Martin holds his breath and his entire body tenses as they make eye contact, Jon’s deep brown eyes boring into him. Is he trying to find out some kind of information? Is he going to compel him? But nothing happens. The Archivist’s eyes, crowned with furrowed brows, travel over Martin’s face, but not with hunger. 

“I care about you Martin. You’re the first person I think about when I’m not freaking out about the end of the world.” Jon says with the first smile Martin’s seen from him in a while. 

He gets onto his toes and throws his arms around Jon’s neck, pulling him down. Jon starts trying to ask a question, but Martin presses his lips onto his messily. His mouth is wet from the tears and probably salty but he doesn’t care. That’s the very least Jon deserves after everything. As he relaxes his feet, Jon’s head follows him down, lips still attached. He starts kissing Martin back tentatively, cupping his head with one hand and holding the small of his back with the other.

“Jon…” Martin says breathlessly “Shit, I’m sorry, I know we’re at work and I didn’t ask and I don’t know how you feel about me and…” he trails off, sputtering nervously. He’s shocked that he kissed Jon, but even more shocked that Jon kissed him back. What does it mean?

“It’s okay Martin, I’m just… I’m surprised you can bear to kiss me.” He says incredulously. “I thought you hated me.” His brow is furrowed, hair covering his face. He’s adorable.

“Fuck off.” Martin sighs through a sheepish smile. “You know how I feel about you.”

“Wh—What?” Jon’s arms drop gently.

Shit. Was he angry?

“I—I mean. I just…” Fuck it. “I love you Jon. I’ve been in love with you for two years! I thought you knew… I tried to hide it the whole time, but I’ve never been good at that.”

“You’re—what?” 

“Well, yeah, I mean… I brought you tea and bothered you and took care of you and made you sleep and when I lived in the archives because I was being stalked by Prentiss I was losing my mind because you were always right there… And then you were in a coma and I was sure I had lost you forever” he softens, “I… I don’t want to be weird or make you uncomfortable, I just… I thought it was obvious, and people, well, talk about it. It’s always obvious when I have feelings for someone. Everyone else knows. It’s embarrassing, but I know they know. Even Elias.”

Jon looks shocked. Not angry or appalled or scared, though. Just completely stunned, eyes wide and inquisitive. Martin falters. Was it too much? Too far? 

Jon inhales sharply, as if about to go underwater, and leans down to kiss Martin again. His ragged fingers grip Martin’s curly ginger hair and he walks into him, pushing him back into the desk. Martin begins crying again, from relief and joy and pain, his arms coiled around the Archivist’s torso, fluttering over his back. Jon pauses.

“I love you too Martin” he whispers hoarsely.


End file.
